The Best Ask for Help
We’ve all seen it. The hard-working, top performing team member who has taken on too much responsibility and has gotten in over their head. They’re working around the clock and heading toward burnout. We must appreciate the commitment they’re showing to the job, but this is no way to succeed! Burnt out top performers don’t do the business any good.
How does this happen?
For starters, these top performers suffer from the curse of competence. That is, they stand out as particularly good at their jobs and they can be consistently relied upon. Sadly, this level of reliability is uncommon on most teams, so they shoulder an uneven load compared with similarly compensated peers. As a result, we heap responsibility upon them, and they gladly raise their hand for more as we work to find their limits. Often, their limits are much higher than anyone imagined, so we just keep going!
Next, a large part of their personal identity is often wrapped up in being the picture of reliability. They take pride in the way they make things appear effortless to their bosses and peers. Every time they receive praise in the form of “I don’t know how you do it all” it raises this self-image closer to the surface. When they personally realize they’ve reached their limits, it comes as a shock to them, and they do everything they can to prevent the outside world from noticing.
Finally, they have an ill-defined concept of what it means to ask for help. “Help is something other people, mere mortals, might need, but not me.” There’s one part ego and another part fear contributing to their unwillingness to tap out and seek help. By the time we recognize they’re in over their heads, the damage is usually done. I’ve even seen this pattern lead to these individuals developing resentment toward their teams! Is it your team’s fault that you can’t ask for help??
What must be done?
Thankfully, the solution is simple. Make asking for, offering, and being receptive to help the norm in your business. Like so many things I write about, this starts at the top. As the top officers in your business, model the kind of behavior you want to see from your team by asking for help openly, publicly recognizing the value of the help you receive, and offering help to others equally as openly. This creates a cultural norm of collaboration and shared responsibility, which makes everyone happier and more fulfilled in their jobs.
Getting help should not be an option. Great teams win together. We love our top performers, and there’s nothing that will stop them from pursuing a higher level of performance from themselves, but we must help them to see that true top performers don’t do it alone. The best get help.
The Spark Notes:
We've all witnessed the top-performing team member overloaded with responsibilities, heading towards burnout, and while their dedication is commendable, this isn't sustainable or beneficial for the business.
Top performers often fall victim to the "curse of competence," taking on more work due to their reliability, and their personal identity becomes tied to this image of effortless capability, making it hard for them to ask for help.
These individuals often view asking for help as a sign of weakness, driven by ego and fear, leading to potential resentment and burnout, which could have been avoided with timely support.
The solution lies in fostering a culture where asking for, offering, and receiving help is normalized, starting from the top leadership, to ensure a collaborative, supportive, and high-performing team environment.
