Don’t be afraid to fail
4 simple steps for bouncing back from failure
The Spark Notes
Failure is a hard but necessary part of growth
If you fear failure, it may be because you don’t have a plan for bouncing back from it
So, learn how to bounce back! 4 steps can allow you to do it:
Admit it
Acknowledge your emotions
Talk to someone supportive
Take action
Let's talk about putting it into action!
Fear of failure.
Instead of taking leaps that push them out of their comfort zone, they nest in and wait for the “right” time.
But I’ve talked to tons of mentors who all say the same thing: There will never be a “right” time. Just go for it.
And even though I knew this was great advice, for years, I struggled to implement it. Why? Because I knew "going for it” would inevitably result in failure, and I wasn’t sure I knew how to handle that.
But now, I’ve learned how to bounce back from failure, and I’m confident it is one of the most important skills you can learn as a part of growth.
So, today, I’m going to share a four-step technique for bouncing back from failure. Equipped with this information, you should be chasing after your goals, knowing it’s okay if you fail because you’re going to be able to get back on your feet. Let’s dive in.
Step 1: Admit Your Failure
Highly accountable leaders don’t shy away from responsibility for failure—they embrace it. So, don’t try to hide from it. Instead, admit your failure straight up.
If you’re in a group, make sure to admit it out loud. If it’s just you, make sure to admit it in your heart. Don’t beat yourself up for it; just own it.
You can’t bounce back from failure unless you can admit that it happened in the first place.
Step 2: Acknowledge Your Emotions
I’ve written in this space before about the importance of naming your emotions:
“I’m feeling scared because of the mistake I made.”
“I’m feeling sad because I think people are judging my failure.”
“I’m feeling anxious because I don’t want to admit that I lost here.”
When you name the emotion and acknowledge that you are feeling it, you start to take away its power over you.
Conversely, when you try to bury it deep inside you, you give it space to grow until that fear, sadness, or anxiety builds up and you can’t hold it in. This can often result in an uncharacteristic blow-up or a full-blown anxiety attack.
When faced with failure, it’s okay to feel scared, sad, or anxious. And it’s even better to admit it to yourself.
It just makes you human, and acknowledging the way failure makes you feel is an important step in bouncing back from it.
Step 3: Talk to Someone Supportive
Go get the failure out of your system.
Whether it’s your peer, your boss, your spouse, or a friend, go tell someone about your failure.
Say it out loud: “I just screwed up and can’t believe it happened. I’m feeling scared and sad. This sucks.”
Tell them you don’t need solutions but just needed to get it out. Let it sit there.
Don’t try to over-justify your mistake, either.
Saying it out loud and having a support system around you are crucial parts in getting over failure. It can be a super cathartic way to get the fear of failure out of your system.
Step 4: Take Action
At this point, you’ve accepted the failure, acknowledged your emotions, and talked to a supportive person in your journey to get over what happened.
Your body and mind will start loosening up and realize that it happened and that it is what it is. So, don’t wait; go take action. And get back on the horse:
Make another sales call
Go hit the job site
Do that task that’s been on your list for 4 months
Whatever it is, just make sure you are moving your goals forward. You can sit around and be sad all you want, but if you take action instead, you will see that it was just one mistake and that you have a lot of success waiting for you if you go take it.
