Everyone Makes Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. True as this is, why are people so afraid to admit them?

I’ve dedicated past newsletters to building a culture of accountability and the causes within corporate environments that create low-accountability cultures. So, in this article, I want to focus on the individual’s responsibility rather than the company’s on this issue. 

Our Inner Voice 

We all have an inner voice. I’m talking about the voice in your mind that talks to you about yourself and the world around you. Sadly, for many, this is not a particularly friendly voice. My own internal monologue can be highly judgmental of myself and others, so I’m speaking from personal experience and not just psychological theory here. When it comes to personal failings, that inner voice may swing wildly, first attacking yourself and then seeking an external villain on whom to place the blame.  

“That new hire really turned out poorly! Gosh, I’m so bad at interviewing! What’s wrong with me?? But that person totally lied in the interview! How am I supposed to know when someone’s lying!? Jeez, you just can’t trust anyone these days.” 

Sound familiar?

Failure is Good? 

Notice, that the fact that the hire didn’t work out is viewed as a bad thing by our inner voice in this example. I think that’s at the heart of why people are so apt to admit mistakes to themselves or others. We’ve somehow come to believe that failure is bad! What if mistakes were as good as they were bad? What if the recognition of our failings was viewed by us as a powerful opportunity to create better results in the future?

What if our inner voice said this instead? 

“That new hire really turned out poorly! What can I learn from this experience that will help me to improve hiring outcomes in the future? I bet there are some great resources to read and people to talk to about this issue. It’s going to be great for me and the rest of the team to use what I learn to improve our hiring process.” 

Failure is a part of life. How you respond to failure is everything.

Using Failure to Improve and Build Trust 

Here are two things NOT to do: 

Refuse to take ownership of failure in your own mind. If you can’t allow yourself to acknowledge your contributions to negative outcomes, you will not grow and you will repeat the same mistakes in the future. 

Take ownership of failure in your own mind but fail to do so publicly. Bosses often get away with pretending a failure never happened and emitting nonverbal signals that a topic is off limits for discussion. The team is then afraid to broach the issue with the boss, which protects his/her ego, but the team loses respect due to their apparent lack of accountability. Know who they will broach the issue with? Each other, behind the boss’s back. 

Instead, give yourself grace and recognize that mistakes and failures are something every human experiences, and they’re only bad if we don’t do something good with them! Own them in your own mind first, publicly second, and create an action plan for improvement third.

Finally, get help on the improvement plan. Those around you will trust you infinitely more if you don’t pretend to be infallible and above outside assistance.  

The Spark Notes: 

• People fear admitting mistakes because they view failure as bad, rather than as an opportunity for growth.

• The inner voice often criticizes and shifts blame, making it harder to take ownership of failures.

• Shifting your mindset to view mistakes as learning opportunities can lead to better outcomes and personal growth.

• It's important to take ownership of failures both privately and publicly to build trust and avoid damaging relationships with your team.

• Seeking help from others on your improvement plan fosters trust and shows you're open to growth and collaboration.