A simple but unique solution for beating anxiety
You don’t need to be a Zen Master to beat your stress.
If you’re trying to get rid of anxiety and stress from your life entirely, you’re going to have a hard time.
The reality is that your brain is going to find anxiety and stress pretty much no matter what you do.
So, instead of asking yourself:
How do I eliminate anxiety and stress from my life?
Try asking yourself:
Okay, if I’m going to be dealing with anxiety and stress for the rest of my life, how do I do it?
In my experience dealing with stress—and coaching some of the industry's highest performers through their own stress and anxiety—it starts with redefining stress, then noticing when it shows up, and finally letting it go. Today, I’d like to help you learn how to do that. By the end of this article, you should have a simple formula for transforming the stress in your life into productivity. Let’s jump in.
Common Misconception
Words have power. And they impact the way we think and act.
Stress and anxiety are two words that typically unleash their power in a negative way. Just the thought of being stressed makes us more stressed, so we try to avoid it—usually without success. Then, we turn to drugs, alcohol, or social media, which alleviates the stress temporarily, but eventually, it comes back. We get addicted to those things as a result. This is not healthy.
In general, stress and anxiety are not evil! They are important tools for helping us think ahead and ensure we are properly preparing or chasing our goals. We can embrace them and use them as an asset for getting stuff done.
The truth is that stress and anxiety are not all bad; we just can’t let ourselves get trapped by them.
Stop thinking about it when it is no longer useful
A common saying in Buddhism and Buddhist-type teachings is, “The past is a story, and the future is not here yet. All we have is the present moment.”
This is very true and a beautiful way to view the world. To me, it also suggests that you shouldn’t engage with the past or future, since all we have is the present. However, in my experience, you are still going to think about the past and the future and carry the stress and anxiety that come along with it. This is not a bad thing.
Planning and thinking long-term are two very important parts of life, so it’s important to engage with those future-thinking thoughts. It’s also important to reflect on the past and make connections that you otherwise would have missed. In my journey, I’ve discovered that I don’t need to strive to be present all the time but rather be aware and conscious of when I am not present.
When I am aware that I am not present, I can decide to keep thinking about that stressful thing or come back to the present moment. A lot of the time, I continue to think and plan, but I stop when the thinking and planning are no longer useful.
In other words, I don’t engage with stress and anxiety for the sake of it; I make sure there is a purpose. Then, when thinking and planning no longer help, I stop. To me, this is the key: cultivate the ability to utilize stress and anxiety for your benefit, be aware of them, and then disengage when they’re no longer helpful.
Then, enjoy the present moment.
Practice conscious breathing
The secret to coming back to the present is all in your breath.
When you recognize you are out of the present, take a deep breath through your nose. Then, a deep exhale through the nose. As you breathe, repeat to yourself:
Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in. Breathing out, I know that I am breathing out.
The purpose of this mantra is to help you focus on the breath instead of the other thoughts banging around in your head. This will naturally lead you into the present. Then, you can decide whether to keep engaging with the anxiety and stress or come back to the present.
If the thinking and planning are still useful, stick with them! If not, keep repeating your breathing and your mantra until you are back in the moment.
It may sound crazy, but the breath is the key to maintaining the right levels of stress and anxiety. Engage with it often. Learn to love the feeling of your "in" breath and "out" breath. It is truly a beautiful thing.
Spark Notes:
Stress and anxiety don’t have to be evil.
There’s a lot of good that comes from them. If you want to deal with them more effectively, then give this formula a try:
Redefine stress and anxiety to see the positives
Stop thinking when it is no longer useful
Practice conscious breathing
Stress will still be a part of your life, but this will allow you to control it so much better than you ever have before. To me, that’s the key to using it as an advantage in your life.
You can get started today, and I hope you will let me know how you do.
