Should you find a mentor?

4 Questions to ask yourself. 

Finding a mentor could be one of the best decisions you ever make in your life and career—I know it was for me. 

About 3 years ago, I started meeting monthly with a mentor I met through LinkedIn. Since then, I’ve made some huge life and career moves that I may not otherwise have made. It’s been such a fulfilling and productive relationship! 

In talking with construction professionals around the country, I’m finding that many do not have a mentor that they can lean on for similar decisions. If you have ever wondered if you should find a mentor, try asking yourself these 4 questions to determine if it would be worth your time. Obviously, I highly recommend it, but is having a mentor really for you?

Let’s find out. 

Question #1: Are you feeling a lack of direction and fulfillment in your life and/or career?

I found my mentor when I was 28 years old. At that time, I had recently accomplished a lot of things that should have been considered positive: I was promoted to Vice President at 28 years old, just finished getting my Master’s degree part-time, recently got engaged to the love of my life, AND was gaining notoriety on LinkedIn for writing construction-based content. But the truth is, I wasn’t happy.

This misalignment of my “success” and my happiness helped me to see that something was missing. With the benefit of time and space, I now realize that what I was missing was fulfillment and direction on how to find it. Fortunately, I had been meeting with someone I trusted already, and we naturally stepped into a mentor/mentee relationship. 

If you are ever going through that same confusion about success vs. direction/fulfillment, then it may be time to consider getting a mentor to help you through it. 

Question #2: Do you want to accelerate your career growth? 

On the other hand, you can be totally successful AND happy, and still be a good candidate for pursuing a mentor relationship. Why? Because mentors can help you accelerate your career much more quickly than you can do on your own. 

One of my mentors, a serial Entrepreneur, Mark Zweig, always says, “Failure sucks! Don’t fail just to learn from it. Find people who have failed to teach you so that you don’t have fail as much yourself.” Such wise and simple words, but they are so often lost on people growing their careers. 

I think our egos tell us we are “supposed to figure it out on our own”, and I have found that this couldn’t be further from the truth! So, if you want to to accelerate your career growth, then getting a mentor is probably for you. But be sure to consider questions #3 and #4 before you do. 

Question #3: Are you willing to make a commitment outside of work? 

It is not easy to be a mentee. Even more, it’s not easy to be a mentor! 

So, before you consider asking someone to be your mentor, you really need to ask yourself: Are you willing to make this commitment? Are you going to show up bright eyed and bushy tailed at each call/lunch? Are you going to put in the work that your mentor incites you to put in? Are you going to be insanely respectful of their time?

If you don’t feel confident about all of those answers, then you may not be ready to be in a mentor/mentee relationship. 

Question #4: Are you willing to open your mind and apply other people’s perspectives? 

One of the benefits of a mentor is that they can help you see the world—whether that is yourself, your job, your personal relationships—in a different way. If you have trouble opening your mind and applying other people’s perspectives, then you may need to work on that before you pursue a mentor. 

I can tell you from experience that it is extremely frustrating for someone to continually ask for your advice, then ignore it and do things their way regardless. Change is one of the fundamental benefits to mentoring under someone, and most mentors don’t want to work with someone who is close-minded and unwilling to change. 

How to find one 

If you find yourself going through this exercise and getting excited about your desire for a mentor, then great! Now, you just need to find one. While there are so many ways you could go about this, this is how I have had the most success: 

1. Identify a potential mentor 

2. Schedule a call or lunch to get to know them 

3. Repeat 3x 

4. Ask them to be your mentor 

I think it’s important to meet multiple times with someone before asking them to be your mentor because a) you need to figure out if you are really a fit for each other, and b) you need to figure out if they are willing to commit time to you as their mentee. Both of these things seem to naturally work themselves out over time. You will know if you are in the right position to ask for a more formal mentor/mentee relationship. 

I hope this helps someone out there, and if you have more questions about how or why to get a mentor, reach out any time. 

Spark Notes:

Conflict is a huge part of construction. 

Most of it stems from one side or another using the Contract as a weapon. 

You can use the Contract more effectively if you do these 4 things: 

1. Read the Contract 

2. Know the key terms 

3. Set boundaries with your partner 

4. Stay objective 

You’ll be running better projects with less conflict in no time. 

Go give it a try tomorrow, and let me know how you do.